Reading of his [Pius X] defense of cigars as not being a vice, I was reminded of a story that a cigar smoking priest of the Diocese of Tulsa, who is now in training for the Vatican diplomatic corps, told me. When he was a seminarian in Rome, he learned that Pius X, who was the pope from 1903 to 1914, called a bishop onto the carpet to reprimand him for his scandalous misbehavior with wine, women and song, and to correct his wrongs patiently.

The pope offered the errant bishop a cigar from the papal humidor on his desk. The bishop declined the offer with the protestation, “I do not have that vice, Your Holiness,” to which His Holiness replied, “If cigars were a vice, I would not offer you one, for you have quite enough vices already.”

Reading of his [Pius X] defense of cigars as not being a vice, I was reminded of a story that a cigar smoking priest of the Diocese of Tulsa, who is now in training for the Vatican diplomatic corps, told me. When he was a seminarian in Rome, he learned that Pius X, who was the pope from 1903 to 1914, called a bishop onto the carpet to reprimand him for his scandalous misbehavior with wine, women and song, and to correct his wrongs patiently.

The pope offered the errant bishop a cigar from the papal humidor on his desk. The bishop declined the offer with the protestation, “I do not have that vice, Your Holiness,” to which His Holiness replied, “If cigars were a vice, I would not offer you one, for you have quite enough vices already.”

This went off the rails. It's either the worst anniversary poetry that I have ever written, or the best. I guess she gets to decide.

One start up, two jobs
Three expensive car repairs
It has been a year

34 years strong
3,308 months
12,420 days

The country has fallen
Fascism has won
The rules of haiku

Like the rule of law
No longer matters
Chaos reigns supreme

Truth is fiction
Fiction is truth
I know one thing for sure

We win at marriage
And I would do it again
again, and again

How it started

How it is going 34 years later

I recently received a tongue-in-cheek message from the Virginia Citizens Defense League. While humorous, it also carries more than a little truth, so I thought it worth sharing in full.

Do you know someone suffering from Gun Derangement Syndrome?

Gun Derangement Syndrome, or GDS, is a severe mental disorder characterized by irrational beliefs and behaviors despite objective evidence. There is no age, sex, race, or other demographic characteristics that predispose someone to this disorder. This insidious disorder can affect anyone. However, individual susceptibility can occur with other irrational beliefs such as: criminals are the victims, the police cause crime, the First Amendment includes government censorship, or disarming someone makes them safer.

To receive a diagnosis of GDS one must meet 3 of the following diagnostic criteria for at least 21 days. 

1. A belief that merely owning a gun can turn any good, honest person into a deranged killer.
   
   
2. A belief that a gun can plan a crime and carry it out by walking to a victim’s location, aiming itself, and pulling its own trigger.
   
   
3. An obsession with firearms such that they use a gun-centric vocabulary. For example, if they use “gun violence,” but not machete violence, beating violence, or strangling violence. Or they use “gunman,” but not macheteman, beatingman, or stranglingman.
   
   
4. A belief that the gun, and not the criminal holding the gun, is responsible for shooting someone, while also believing that a police officer, and not his gun, is responsible for shooting someone.
   
   
5. A belief that all gun owners are “gun nuts.” 
   
   
6. A belief that guns are so easily obtained that guns are found lying in the street. Or they believe that guns are easier to obtain than a book. Or they believe that guns are only designed to kill humans as fast as possible.
   
   
7. Having anger-management issues and falsely projecting that character flaw onto peaceful gun-owners.
   
   
8. Knowing absolutely nothing about guns, including how they work, but claim to be an expert on “gun safety.” They usually believe that guns “just go off” on their own. They often call for a ban on “assault weapons” or “barrel shrouds”, but they can’t give you a definition of either one. They use gun word-salads, like banning “high-velocity magazine clips,” to attempt to hide their ignorance.
   
   
9. Stating that an openly carried gun makes them afraid but then say that a gun carried concealed makes them afraid.
   
   
10. Holding innocent gun owners to blame for the misuse of guns by criminals, while not holding themself to blame for owning a car, which drunk drivers use to create horrible carnage on our roads.
    
    
11. Stating a magazine limitation of “X” rounds is safe, but they are unable to explain how having “X+1” rounds would be dangerous.
    
    
12. Complaining about the loud noise coming from a neighbor’s shooting range but stating that suppressors should be outlawed because they make guns quieter.
    
    

Additional Note: This diagnosis may coincide with other personality disorders and maladaptive personality traits. Individuals meeting the diagnosis of Gun Derangement Syndrome may be strongly influenced by other irrational sub-cultural beliefs. Resistance may be very strong during treatment.

The good news is that GDS is not necessarily a lifetime disorder!  A person with GDS can cure themself by getting to know a few gun owners, getting educated on guns and gun safety, and making a trip to the range!  Alternatively, you can reach out to someone with GDS to help free them from GDS’s grip.

GDS is also commonly referred to as “Hoplophobia.”

I recently received a tongue-in-cheek message from the Virginia Citizens Defense League. While humorous, it also carries more than a little truth, so I thought it worth sharing in full.

Do you know someone suffering from Gun Derangement Syndrome?

Gun Derangement Syndrome, or GDS, is a severe mental disorder characterized by irrational beliefs and behaviors despite objective evidence. There is no age, sex, race, or other demographic characteristics that predispose someone to this disorder. This insidious disorder can affect anyone. However, individual susceptibility can occur with other irrational beliefs such as: criminals are the victims, the police cause crime, the First Amendment includes government censorship, or disarming someone makes them safer.

To receive a diagnosis of GDS one must meet 3 of the following diagnostic criteria for at least 21 days. 

1. A belief that merely owning a gun can turn any good, honest person into a deranged killer.
   
   
2. A belief that a gun can plan a crime and carry it out by walking to a victim’s location, aiming itself, and pulling its own trigger.
   
   
3. An obsession with firearms such that they use a gun-centric vocabulary. For example, if they use “gun violence,” but not machete violence, beating violence, or strangling violence. Or they use “gunman,” but not macheteman, beatingman, or stranglingman.
   
   
4. A belief that the gun, and not the criminal holding the gun, is responsible for shooting someone, while also believing that a police officer, and not his gun, is responsible for shooting someone.
   
   
5. A belief that all gun owners are “gun nuts.” 
   
   
6. A belief that guns are so easily obtained that guns are found lying in the street. Or they believe that guns are easier to obtain than a book. Or they believe that guns are only designed to kill humans as fast as possible.
   
   
7. Having anger-management issues and falsely projecting that character flaw onto peaceful gun-owners.
   
   
8. Knowing absolutely nothing about guns, including how they work, but claim to be an expert on “gun safety.” They usually believe that guns “just go off” on their own. They often call for a ban on “assault weapons” or “barrel shrouds”, but they can’t give you a definition of either one. They use gun word-salads, like banning “high-velocity magazine clips,” to attempt to hide their ignorance.
   
   
9. Stating that an openly carried gun makes them afraid but then say that a gun carried concealed makes them afraid.
   
   
10. Holding innocent gun owners to blame for the misuse of guns by criminals, while not holding themself to blame for owning a car, which drunk drivers use to create horrible carnage on our roads.
    
    
11. Stating a magazine limitation of “X” rounds is safe, but they are unable to explain how having “X+1” rounds would be dangerous.
    
    
12. Complaining about the loud noise coming from a neighbor’s shooting range but stating that suppressors should be outlawed because they make guns quieter.
    
    

Additional Note: This diagnosis may coincide with other personality disorders and maladaptive personality traits. Individuals meeting the diagnosis of Gun Derangement Syndrome may be strongly influenced by other irrational sub-cultural beliefs. Resistance may be very strong during treatment.

The good news is that GDS is not necessarily a lifetime disorder!  A person with GDS can cure themself by getting to know a few gun owners, getting educated on guns and gun safety, and making a trip to the range!  Alternatively, you can reach out to someone with GDS to help free them from GDS’s grip.

GDS is also commonly referred to as “Hoplophobia.”