A fortnightly rant, FL-S style (halftime show). With a h/t to Patty for Mr. Bug Eyes.
Chris’ post last week, recalled that today (October 17) marks 4 years since the FL-S published a completely ironic endorsement of George W. Bush for President.
From the editorial:
He will, we judge, persevere in Iraq and in the larger conflict with neo-barbarism. The country’s economic foundation and, more crucially, its physical security are safer if he wins a second term, and we endorse his re-election.
Nice. How’s that worked out?
So we here at F2B are left to wondering: what are the munificent minds on the second floor of that building on Amelia Street thinking? Will they phone in the presidential endorsement this year like they did in 2000 and 2004, rubber-stamping John McCain (for a third term)?
Or will the FL-S editorial staff do something really bold, maverick-like, and totally un-characteristic?
As a public service to Joe, and Flo’, and Paul, and Linda, we encourage the Star Chamber to cut and paste what follows into the lead editorial space they’ve reserved for Sunday’s paper. Then, they should take the rest of the weekend off (the weather is supposed to be splendid).
<CUT AND PASTE WHAT FOLLOWS>
The Free Lance-Star endorsement (we’d like to see)
WHEN CONSIDERING our own political endorsements of presidential candidates, we have since the 2000 contest of Bush v. Gore just rubber-stamped the guy with the “R” following (his) name. To us, that “R” has been as good and comforting as the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. R’s shun the nanny state. They talk tough on taxes and terrorism and oppose embryonic stem-cell research. They consider those that disagree with them their mortal enemies. We like that. We do.
Plus, that Kerry guy (was too French).
We really like John McCain. He’s our kind of fella: a ballsy, tough-talking maverick that is 100% id (mercurial, driven by emotional impulse). There’s no question we would cheer on a President McCain as he tossed verbal hand-grenades at the Democrat (sic.) Party leaders in Congress or stared down Hugo Chavez and Kim Jong-Il. Good stuff. Good stuff.
But this year’s October Surprise was one no American bargained for. Millions of us have suffered the vapors as we slit open the envelopes containing our 3rd quarter 401k statements. And frankly, we’re more than a bit worried about how a President McCain would address this economic calamity. If things keep up and we’re no longer able to keep our credit lines open, we may have no other choice but to sell your Hometown Newspaper on (gasp) eBay. Heavens to Betsy.
Sen. McCain has prompted even his most ardent supporters to remark that he has handled this crisis of national confidence in a most erratic manner. Plus, Sen. McCain has misread the mood of the American public; in last Wednesday’s debate he claimed that people are angry, angry about losing their jobs and watching as their retirement nest-eggs evaporate.
Actually, Senator, the American people are scared out of their wits.
Those Americans that have worked hard, paid their taxes, and never complained a lick about personal sacrifice are seeing their golden years turn bleak. Many of our seniors are in dire straits; some may soon find themselves slinging hash or waiting tables at Denny’s, just to subsist.
And frankly sir, with you at the helm of the U.S.S. Wall Street, we tremble at the thought that the markets will remain in a constant state of turmoil. Erational exuburance has given way to ICEBERG…RIGHT AHEAD!
To our surprise Barack Obama has contrasted your red-hot maverick bravado with a very steady and calm manner. It is Senator Obama that has been presidential. And these tough, uncertain times require a steady hand at the ship of state. Obama’s economic plan will create a new green economy where America will actually start manufacturing things again, and hiring people to work good paying jobs.
We like boldness. We admire it. But we also want to retire someday, and help put our grandkids through college or start a business of their own (perhaps one that will make the automotive fuel-cells that will run our future cars and trucks). Obama’s steadiness and economic vision are just what the doctor has ordered.
And that is why the Free Lance-Star supports Barack Obama for President.
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We look forward to being pleasantly surprised to see this draft or something like it in Sunday’s paper.
Heed the words of the great British philosopher and day-care specialist Mary Poppins who said: “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…”