Folks, I can’t do this candidacy any better commentating than to just tell you to read the platform itself. This is why some 27-year olds should stick to shopping and Facebook and stay out of national and INTERnational affairs of the most powerful nation on Earth! Read the article [here]

Some of Clueless Krystal’s campaign platform themes are: Why Teachers should make $100,000, Why nuclear testing makes us safer, Why your health insurance company wants you to die, why everyone should get the same pay no matter what they contribute, why marriage between Adam and Steve is healthy for all Americans, Why no one in Congress is under 30 and its because they don’t know about children, Why I want to TRANSFORM our government into a WORLD SOCIETY, Why my newborn baby is the whole reason I’m running for a seat to represent a million people in the U.S. Congress, and that Guns should be given to only those who the government deems worthy.

Next up: Why Sanjia should have won American Idol and OMG, did you SEE what Britney Spears is wearing? There should be a law making that mandatory for all “world” people here in Amerika.

However, what I will say is that the Free Lance-Star continually puts these liberal losers on its front page courtesy of Chelyen Davis’ blatant love affair with anything that is counter-religious and loves a new tax on us! WHY? When Kaine stops at the I-95 rest stop to tinkle, or illegally stump for Al Pollard in a Stafford School- Chelyen finagles a front page headline as a good thing.

When a conservative comes to town, it’s buried in the region section. When a FLAMING LIBERAL says she dreams of one day dancing with gay neighbors and paying every non-working leach the same as the taxpayers who kill themselves to make ends meet and sacrifice their family time to provide a future for them—it’s put on the front page!

Is the editor asleep at the keyboard or are there simply NO CONSERVATIVE WRITERS at the Free Lance-Star? If the later is the case, my apologies for thinking Chelyen is to blame for the imbalance.

This joke of a candidate belongs in the op-ed section with a cartoon above it. Her platform, combined with her name itself, writes its own punchlines. Unfortunately, Chelyen paints every liberal as a newsworthy and that should be balanced with more than a sideline mention when gubernatorial candidates hold huge events that attract 11,000 Virginians and national political and celebrity figures and the best the FLS does is run a rehashed AP story about it.

Try saying that headline 3 times fast.

Today the Deeds for Virginia Campaign announced that Senator Creigh Deeds and Senator Edd Houck will appear at the Spotsylvania Stars & Stripes Spectacular on June 28. The event will be held at the Spotsylvania Courthouse, Sen. Deeds to appear at 4:00pm.

The event is free and open to the public, and family friendly.

The fifth annual Independence Day celebration, plans include a full day of diverse music, kids’ activities, historical tours, demonstrations, food vendors, live broadcasting donated by B101.5 and News Talk 1230, Colonial re-enactors, Fire and EMS volunteers, capped by a first-class fireworks display.

Once again a spectacular fireworks display will begin at dark.  The display will originate in the Spotsylvania Court House Village Field adjacent to R.E. Lee Elementary School, and will be visible from viewing locations throughout the Court House area.

…Taken by an amateur photographer who happens to also be a Republican county supervisor!  YES WE CAN do better in Virginia GOP communications both online, print and multimedia, and YES WE WILL! 

And we’ll do it without paying through the nose to BUY the media bias and favor (or by buying the publications themselves with tax money or bailouts mislabeled as “stimulus” cash!)

We’ll do news, editorials and entertainment better, faster and in more volume than the liberal press corps could EVER do it!  Because we KNOW that a free market is the best way to do business on Earth!

We’ll bring you information  for FREE and with equal or BETTER angles, coverage and multiple perspectives than any one newspaper beat writer ever could.

I didn’t see our local newspaper at the event!  Although they *must* have been there somewhere; they weren’t at the press booth all day. 

Who was? DOZENS of *new media* bloggers, videographers, podcasters, live-Tweeters, FaceBookers, photographers and radio interviewers.  We got information out to 11,007 attendees in real time—literally within seconds— accurately and easy to read and understand—just the way people want it.

Who wants to wait until tomorrow to read about it on low-res newspaper? … or next week in a magazine? Who would ever want to read a re-hashed AP News story from someone who doesn’t know the lay of the land?

Virginia is home to HUNDREDS of local conservative blogs and thousands of local photographers who can support them … and we’re hooking up exponentially!

NEW MEDIA is the future, and the future is here today. And the future media is made by dedicated conservatives volunteers who work for YOU because they ARE YOU!

“Amateurs built the Ark … PROFESSIONALS built the Titanic!”

  … a lesson the OLD media corps is learning regularly and sorely.  They would be wise to work with us new media guys instead of ignoring us like they have for the past decade.  Our numbers are growing while their readers and advertisers are scattering fast….

Welcome to the new world order (of media). Photos, comments, and guest bloggers are welcome on Rappahannock Red and your favorite local conservative blog… contact me if you’re interested in blogging and don’t know where to start: VaRepublican@gmail.com .

My take on the whole thing: http://www.spotsygop.com/2009/05/gop-convention-is-completed-winning.html#links

November’s winning ticket is going to be:

Bob McDonnell

Bill Bolling

Ken Cuccinelli

A fortnightly rant, FL-S style with a big h/t to the fine folks at Britt Chrysler Jeep in Fredericksburg. We wish you all the very best!

So, what do we have to do…to get you to drive away in this new [insert car year/make/model here, example: 2009 Ford Crown Victoria]?

As a kid, I remember the excitement The Big Three created when in early autumn their new models reached neighborhood dealer showrooms.

And I clearly recall the crisp morning in the early autumn of 1970 – just after Rosh Hashanah morning services had concluded – when Mom surprised me with a drive down to the local Chrysler/Plymouth dealership on Whalley Avenue- New Haven’s Automobile Row – so that we could see all the new models.

1970 'Cuda painted a princely purple.

My little heart raced when I spied a shiny new Plymouth Barracuda covered in a shell of shiny grape-metallic lacquer paint. 

But I nearly died and went to heaven when the sales manager showed me the Plymouth Super Bird that had been carefully rolled off the truck.  On it, where there should have been a chrome front bumper was this thing that looked like the business end of a inter-continental ballistic missile; there were two chrome locks on the hood that sparkled in the early afternoon sun; a dazzling graphic of the Road Runner and the Plymouth logo as large as a highway sign; and, atop the trunk, an air foil the size of a shotgun porch.

Whoa! Is that street-legal?

Whole Lotta Love: The 1970 Plymouth Super Bird...WHOA!

That evening, I found paper, sharp pencils, and a protractor.  And like a starving artist suddenly inspired by the muse, I meticulously went about designing the cars of my testosterone-soaked adolescent future.

Back then, I must’ve thought “if cars look this great (in the fall of 1970) then 6 and a half years later (in 1977, when I get my license) they’ll be awesome?”  

While my brother cranked up the stereo playing his Led Zeppelin II album, I went about committing my dazzling visions of the future to paper…

But three High Holidays later, the U.S. was caught off guard when in the fall of 1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel (starting The Yom Kippur War). OPEC offered a spiteful response to the U.S. for its support of Israel by placing an embargo on its members’ crude oil, which sent the price of gasoline skyward, local gas station supplies downward, and Detroit lumbering down 8 Mile Road to the scrap-heap.

And, what about my teenage dream ride?  My dream turned nightmarish when I forced to take my driving test in a borrowed car…this remarkable bit of Detroit ingenuity: behold the 1977 Plymouth Volare!

Volare....OH, oh! Volare....oh, oh, oh, OH!

My Hannibal Lechter-inspired orthodontic nightgear was sexier. 

The Autumn 1973 shock wave, sent the frugal to the Horse-traders of the Rising Sun. The family three doors down from my house bought one of the first Honda Civics; there’s was orange-painted with black decals and looked like a pumpkin on steroids.  Soon, Detroit started losing market share to the likes of  Honda and Toyota and Datsun (now Nissan) and Subaru.

People actually bought and drove the AMC Pacer

Spokeshombre Ricardo Mantalban got us all talking about rich Corinthian leather and 6-way adjustable power seats, but super-high television audience-recall didn’t translate to showroom sales; what most viewers remembered was that the commercial had the guy from Fantasy Island and rich, Corinthian leather.  But could they recall the make or model of car? And could Lee Iacocca, the genius car-guy behind the Ford Mustang, really stabilize the SS Hindenberg (I mean, Chrysler)?  Fuggettaboutit!

American cars quickly became fodder for Johnny Carson’s monologues. And many local car dealers – decent hardworking folk, pillars of the community – that were late to the line to add foreign nameplates to their signage, were stuck selling so many buttugly road hogs.

Expediency trumped creativity.  And in a flash, the thrill of “owning American” was gone.

Flash-forward: May 14-15 2009: Chrysler LLC released a list of national dealer closings. Fred2Blue was the first to report that Britt Chrysler Jeep was among 789 dealers nationwide to lose their franchises. General Motors also sent overnight-dispatched letters to 1,000 dealers nationwide but didn’t release the hit list to the public so we may not know for some time which local GM dealers, if any, will get the axe. We suppose some of the GM dealers will appeal the decision. Sad news, for sure.

TROLL ALERT!  TROLL ALERT!  TROLL ALERT!

Now I know the legions of global warming-denying conspiracy theorists out there in their darkened basements – the average age 34 year-old unmarried white guys that all scored online tickets for the advance screening of Star Trek on Fandango, that have bookmarked F2B (or better yet, placed us in their Google alerts) – are reading this and their little pulses are racing like those tricked out hot rods in American Graffitii. They’ll post a comment to this site (or at least be tempted to post one) that places the blame – for the sorry state of American automotive manufacturing and an antiquated, bloated dealer-network business model – squarely on the shoulders of Carl Levin, and John Dingell, and the United Auto Workers, and Tim Geithner, and President Obama, and Michael Moore, and maybe – just to be snarky – The Trilateral Commission…BECAUSE…BECAUSE les trolles will say all this is a colossal liberal conspiracy, or whatever.

So let me first surprise our loyal legions of Rupert Pupkins out there and say:

You know what? Some of what you say is absolutely true.  Some liberals have protected their incumbencies by insulating the American auto industry from ever going under (that is until now when there may not be another choice).  The Big Three circa 1973 was too big to respond effectively to the first energy crisis, and didn’t really snap out of that cycle until the mid-1980s. (And that’s where most of you dwellers of dark spaces will say it was because Ronnie Reagan was president.) But plenty of Republicans (even conservatives) knew then and still know now how to count constituent votes, and even when they ran Washington, the auto industry remained immune to the market forces that affected other domestic industries.

You know what else? The unions once exerted a lot of power and I know there weren’t enough sleeves rolled up on their side of the bargaining table nor enough concessions agreed to, to help Detroit mitigate the first energy crisis.  I remember being a teenager and touring the huge GM Baltimore Final Assembly Plant and spying a couple of workers snoozing atop a mountain of untrimmed upholstery, thinking to myself (what’s up with that?).  But that was a long time ago. Since then, union members have made huge concessions, and no one in their right minds could accuse them collectively of sleeping on the job. In some ways, the partnership with the Big Three has become very productive, a model partnership.  Still, I don’t know how you trolls are going to react when the union-ownership stakes in the Big Three increase.

(And let’s just hope all those working members at the GM Drive Train plant on Tidewater Trail in Spotsylvania County get to stay on the job.)

So how about this? Some out there argue that the quality of American cars now rivals that of foreign nameplates. That’s great…it truly is, and union members are among the best-trained in the world. But many of us cannot reconcile that fact that since the early 1970s, American cars have been mostly function over form.  We used to write songs about the cars we drove, but we don’t do that anymore. That’s because for nearly 40 years most of them have been wallflowers atop four tires.

And this? It’s true that so far the hype of green energy has eclipsed reality. But the knowledge to create high-mileage, clean/green cars has fairly well known for YEARS. It is good that Detroit is finally taking this all very seriously; let’s just make sure that these vehicles balance form and function. And to you Mr. Troll, I say we need a balanced energy policy. And drilling, drilling, drilling must not be the only answer. (Duh!)

But I digress.

As our nation deals with so much institutional crisis – from default credit-swaps, to large bank bailouts – it is hard to attach a human face to any one issue.  But the auto industry meltdown – and Chrysler’s and GM’s decisions to close so many dealerships – does put a human face on a vexing problem.

Local dealerships that have stood by their communities since their ancestors sold horses and carriages to townsfolk will soon close for good.  Local dealerships that have reliably serviced the cars of so many and in doing so forged years long trusting relationship will have to direct their valued customers elsewhere. 

It’s true that some dealers are better than others at selling cars, and the dealerships that don’t live up to their franchise obligations probably shouldn’t be hanging a shingle much longer. But word to Detroit – you need new blood and fresh eyes in your management ranks to build better cars – green cars – that are better-looking than anything else on the market, like this:

2010 Fisker Karma: The American-built totally sweet solar-paneled performance hybrid Detroit should watch very, very carefully.

When Detroit once again is celebrated in song and popular culture it will rule the road.

Spotsylvania Supervisors Hap Connors (Chair) and Gary Skinner (Vice Chair) will appear at the Committee of 500 General Membership meeting on Monday, April 27 from 6:30 to 8:30, at the Salem Church Library.    The public is invited.   One topic sure to come up is VRE.   The Board is pondering a vote on VRE and this is an opportunity to discuss the benefits membership will bring to local transportation projects as state funding declines.   Since its inception five years ago, the C500 has strongly supported Spotsylvania VRE membership.

Connors

Skinner

The following is my recollection and personal opinion of what happened today. Read at your own risk and accept nothing as fact or accurate. Or don’t read it at all… it really doesn’t matter —it’s just a blog.

Fred FLS Bedroom Scandal UPDATE 6:00PM 4/15/09: Dan Telvock called me today in an insistent tone of voice that the FLS is having no problems getting subscriptions or readers here in the ‘Burg and that I’m misrepresenting the facts by stating (below) that there are more WaPo subscribers here than the FLS. He offered to forward me regulated circulation evidence of this via email which I certainly accepted.  I’m sure he’s right about this, since he’s in the business, and I couldn’t give two-turds about who sells more papers here.  But I know which paper employs Pulitzer prize winners and world-class writers…

He has yet to forward me the data as promised, but I’m sure he has more important things to worry about like a deadline for the paper about what kind of dog took a dump on his lawn yesterday and left it behind without a permit, or what Gary Skinner is planning to do with all my tax money he’s telling me I need to give him to subsidize his train ride to work.  After all, Dan is supposed to be writing about Spotsylvania government stories and not my blog during work hours I presume.

While I’m touched that he had the concern for a fellow journalist of his calibre (me- LOL) getting their facts right, and I certainly do strive to be ‘generally’ accurate when I blog for free and as recreation (he’s a paid “ journalist”), I hope the 11 readers out there in cyber-burg realize the distinction between a BLOG and a NEWSPAPER.  Dan does not appreciate the nuance apparently. 

A blog, derived from “web” and “log”, is an online journal of whatever the hell you feel like putting on it.  People can elect to peek at it if they choose and at no time should be under any conception that they are reading 100% accurate factual information unless it says so!  Most would never make this claim.  Dan has a blog, and he should understand this as his is full of innuendo, sarcasm and vitriol that is hardly becoming of someone of the Woodward and Bernstein ilk.

A NEWSpaper has an expectation of  being news written by professional newspeople who abide by a code of ethics, accuracy and responsibility for a professional occupation. This may be why Karen Bolipata no longer works at the FLS, I don’t know.  I was told that from Dan himself today, as another example of my inaccuracies in this post. 

Seriously- after reading this post about Phil Rodenberg’s crucifixion by the FLS and his estranged wife, do you think I was going for a Pulitzer?  The FLS failed to give me an updated staff directory this week, so I wasn’t aware Ms. Bolipata had moved up to a better job.  Mea Culpa.  I miss her now.  We never got to go for a ride together in my superfast airplane she liked to write about.

Score 2 for Dan and 0 for me though, I didn’t make the call to the FLS before being sarcastic to make sure my staff names were right, and I didn’t get my Fred-area circulation numbers together and tally them to see who has more newspaper boxes in the area.  All I know, is you can rarely find an extra WaPo at Giant on a Sunday, and there are dozens of FLS leftovers.  Word to the advertisers left in the FLS- count SOLD copies, not PRINTED or DISTRIBUTED when you calculate your CPI (Cost Per Impression).

So, the conversation took a sharp turn for the nasty side as he informed me he’s “filed a claim with ICANN” since I own DanTelvock.com and forward it to this blog (quite transparently I’d like to add) and he wants me to stop doing this. 

Here’s the funny part:  I told him back in Nov, 2008 that I’d give him the domain name for what I paid for it =$9 - and he agreed to send me a check.  He never did, so I never thought about it again until today when he tried to bully me.  Today, he says, he never remembers anything about money being discussed, but that all he recalls is him TELLING me to take the domain name down.  “Or what?” kept coming to mind.  But in the spirit of good faith, I said “Dan, relax- I don’t want your domain name any more- just take it for free then.” 

He replied, “I don’t want it, I just want you to stop forwarding it to your blog, since it’s juvenile and you have no need to do that…”

HUH?  he doesn’t want it?  I explained that by him not taking it and securing it for himself- “anybody” in the world can own it as I did 2 years ago, and do what they want with it; it is definitely in his best interest to take it from me today so he won’t get upset any more… but he persisted to say “I don’t want to own my [namesake] domain name though, I just don’t want you to have it.”

This got about as logical as speaking to a pile of spaghetti. Clearly, the use of technology is not taught in college journalism classes these days.  It must have become outmoded along with ethics, class, decorum, respect, logic, accuracy, restraint and humility. Come to think of it- I’m PERFECT for this job!  Shucks- I can’t afford to work for minimum wage though. Rats!

Then came his sales pitch out of the blue, saying that since I was “so rich and could buy all these domain names” that I should subscribe to the FLS!  Woah- talk about a short circuit … So now I want to give it to him anyway, if for no other reason than to get him to stop Cyber-STALKING me online (he followed me on Twitter today too) and now at work, and so I sent the automated domain acceptance email immediately so I wouldn’t forget to, and 7 hours later it still hasn’t been accepted.

Dan- take the f*&%ing domain name!  … you can put that in a BLOG and not a NEWSPAPER —see? There’s a difference in style and content!

Now I know why he may not have at least…. he was busy Twittering about me back and forth to City Councilman Bryan Metts, a fired attorney from my workplace and some liberal kid who must be around to serve Dan’s ego, each taking turns calling me an “idiot”, “disgusting” and having a “libelous blog” for all to see (well, all those who Twitter anyway).

If you haven’t seen what passes for professional decorum in the Free Lance Star’s purview, just take a look at most any story’s comment section and the venom spewed there!  They make politics look like choir practice!  But this includes the employee’s blogs (Dan’s at least) and the comments they allow to be published as well (where I’m called a “nut-hatch” and a “perp”.  I’m not sure what a nut-hatch even is, but I think it’s an insult anyway.

For the record, you can read Dan’s own blog to verify that I offered to give him the domain name for $9. …Facts are such a bitch sometimes.

Sadly, I’m just accustomed to getting these kinds of “stories” and other perversions of reality labeled as “news” at the Free Lance Star, but not all reporters there are in need of psychiatric help though in my medical opinion, some are quite nice and thoughtful.  I won’t name names though so you aren’t attacked by the neighboring Civil War zombies who march to the beat of a couple of your editors.

As I told Dan “the half” man today on the phone, I actually agree about 50% of the time with the paper’s writing, editorials, cartoons and fact checking when I know and can confirm  first-hand about what happened.  It’s the other half, often what comes out disproportionately against Spotsylvania conservatives from Dan himself, that gives rise to the need for watchdogs, fact checkers and mudslingers to fire back at the sole Goliath who controls the local news scene.  Why he needs to pick on me too I have no idea, but I’ll give him some of the effects of tonight’s Red Bull while it’s on my mind.

Blogs give us little guys a voice, and the liberals hate us for it.  But that’s checks and balances for ya! 

…Obama is working to get rid of that too don’t worry Dan.  Your victory day will come soon enough.  In the mean time, THANKS FOR READING RAPPAHANNOCK RED TODAY DAN- and hello to the newspaper lawyers you probably forwarded this to already before you got to the end.